Long time, no see!

Yes, yes, I know. It's been a long time. A Looooong time. Like, 7 months long time. I decided for a while that I just didn't want to blog anymore. Part of me is still totally fine being past it all. I think once I was pregnant with Elijah my blog really took off. It gave me something to write about, and it gave me a place to organize my thoughts. I liked that.

And then I had Elijah, and I just didn't have as much to say. I was either less obsessed with having a newborn than I was with being pregnant, or MORE so because I just didn't have the time or energy to blog. I just didn't feel like it. So that's the part of me that's fine with it being behind me.

But then, the other day I was reading through my old blog posts here, and I loved reading about when I was pregnant. It was so interesting to me (even if it's not to other people!) and it made me want to jump back on the blogging bandwagon again, at least for a short time. Because, you see, I'm pregnant again!

Most people who read this would already know that, and to be frank, I don't think anybody is even checking this blog anymore to see if I'm posting. If you are, it's okay to not comment. Really. Part of me even considered making this completely private so no-one could read it, and then I'd just get to keep it like a journal. I'm still contemplating it, as I'm a much faster typer than writer, and I find it easier to write out my thoughts here than on paper.

But anyway, I've decided to keep blogging at least while I'm pregnant, because I find it's a good record of my pregnancy experiences and emotions, which is really invaluable for me to look back on after-the-fact. I don't think I'll keep up the blog after I've had this baby, so really, yes, I'm converting this into a pregnancy blog. It doesn't have the same purpose anymore (which was to keep family and friends up to speed on Matthew's and my life together) but I'll probably still write about non-pregnancy things too.

One thing I've come across in my blog-reading-adventures is a weekly update on the pregnancy. I like the idea of it, even if I finding reading other people's a tad boring. I'm going to do it anyway, for my own sake, because I'm finding comparing myself now (at 15w3d) to when I was this far along with Elijah really interesting.

Because I have missed so many of the weeks since I found out, I'm going to do a long-ish one of the first 4-14 weeks below, and then proceed with a recent one. Again, if you're reading, you might find this boring. I'm doing this one for my own sake, so I don't forget little things of the first 14 weeks.



How Far Along: 4-14 weeks

Weight Gain: I lost 3 lb's due to "morning" sickness, and not wanting to eat anything, even though I never actually puked. I slowly gained the 3lb's back, so by this point I was the same weight as pre-pregnancy.

Stretch Marks: Nothing new

Maternity Clothes: I started wearing mat pants by week 5, I was just so bloated that my regular jeans were giving me tummy aches. By week 10 I started wearing the tops. And let me say I'm completely surprised no-one at school has commented on the belly yet. They've got to be curious.

Symptoms: Less tiredness until 13 weeks or so, and then the tiredness picked up again. Nausea which started to go away around weeks 10-11. Stuffy nose already (which does NOT bode well...) sore tummy and stomach muscles that are copping out on me a lot sooner. Sciatic pain already too, because my stomach has refused to hold its own weight.

Sleep: Started okay, but the joint pain has built up over the weeks.

Best Moment of the Week(s): Finding out this baby is NOT ectopic (long story), my u/s at 8 weeks, hearing the heart beat at home on the doppler by 10 weeks. Realizing I'm feeling movement already.

Movement: Started feeling little flutters around 13.5 weeks

Food cravings: Milk, croissants

Gender: At first I guessed girl. Then I guessed boy. Then I guessed human.

What I Miss: Nothing, being pregnant is such an amazing blessing.

What I'm Looking Forward To: Feeling stronger kicks, the gender scan in a few weeks, having a bigger belly.

Milestones: 12-weeks was a big deal to me, as the m/c rate drops then. Second trimester (13 weeks) was pretty huge too.

Emotions: Complete yo-yo. I've been pretty irritable (like, more than normal...) At times I would freak out that this baby just would not last (also, long story) and then felt like I wasn't pregnant at all. Sometimes I would panic that, I can barely handle having Elijah (IMO), so how on earth was I going to be able to handle TWO?! What was I thinking, wanting another baby?? Those feelings came and went for a while, and then tapered off the closer I got to 14 weeks.


So there! That's the first part of my pregnancy up until now. Now for the current update (which won't be as long.)

How Far Along: 15w3d

Weight Gain: +1lb (hoping for a steady, 1-lb-a-week, weight gain...)


Stretch Marks: Nothing new

Maternity Clothes: Pants, definitely yes. Tops, also yes, but I can wear a lot of my regular tops still, as they're empire waist-ed.

Symptoms: Sleepy sleepy sleepy. I take a nap almost every afternoon when Elijah sleeps. Appetite is still picky. Stuffy nose.

Sleep: Pretty crummy, and bound to get worse. Sciatic pain has kicked in in full force, and I toss and turn a lot.

Best Moment of the Week: Hitting 15 weeks??? Most of my best moments were non-pregnancy-related, like going to Cheeky Monkey's on Tuesday, although it was really nice to see a pregnant belly there and not be jealous.

Movement: Yup! It's still sporadic, but there.

Food cravings: Milk, chocolate, french fries, cucumber with cheese.


Gender: I can imagine either so clearly that I really have no guesses. Can't wait to find out though!


What I Miss: Nothing, being pregnant is such an amazing blessing.

What I'm Looking Forward To: Feeling stronger kicks, the gender scan in a few weeks, having a bigger belly.

Milestones: None really, just week-by-week progression.

Emotions: Pretty calm this week. Excited about everything, especially the month of May. I had a really busy week, which keeps me happy.


It's still so weird to me that I'm pregnant again. It was such a miracle to have been pregnant with Elijah, and I feel humbled to have been blessed again. In so many ways, though, I wish that it could be someone else this time, and that loved ones close to me could have the family they desire. I wish there was something I could do.

I decided this time that I wasn't going to worry as much as I did with Elijah. Sometimes my worries were so debilitating, and I found myself often just wishing he could be born so that I didn't have to worry anymore (which is silly, because then I just worried about SIDS.) I resolved that this time I would not worry and be excited about everything.

And then, right after I made that resolution, my doctor called me at 5w1d and said she thought my HCG levels were too low, and that I'd miscarry or have an ectopic pregnancy. I was devastated, to say the least. We went in that day for an ultrasound and all she could see was a gestational sac. The tech wouldn't even call it that, because she felt it could have been a cyst, and I might still have an ectopic pregnancy. I went to my doctor's office next and demanded to know the exact number and demanded repeat betas to see if my levels were rising sufficiently.

The doctor called us in then and sat us down. She showed us a chart that looked like this:

> 1 week       5-50

1-2 weeks     50-500

2-3 weeks     100-5,000

3-4 weeks     500-10,000

4-5 weeks     1,000-50,000

My number was 179 at 4w3d, and so she said that it should have fallen between 1,000 and 50,000. Sadness, terrible terrible sadness.

And then!

"Isn't that 4-5 weeks after ovulation and not 4-5 weeks pregnant???"

And I was right. See, if your HCG measures above 5 at any time, you are pregnant. Most people ovulate around 2 weeks into there cycle. It would then stand to reason that a woman who has not even ovulated yet (as in, between the 1-2 weeks pregnant range) should not have any ANY hcg in her blood, let alone levels between 50 and 500! So yeah, I corrected my doctor.

My level was 179 and should have been in either the 50-500 or 100-5,000 range, which it was. All the scare for nothing. We tested my levels again anyway, and they were 2770 and then 6122 2 days later, which was a more than appropriate increase. My doctor was still sceptical, but I think it was just her way of trying to cover her tracks in predicting this pregnancy is doomed. 

So, the first part of my pregnancy was off to a rocky start, and I've struggled with not worrying since. I think I'm easing up a fair bit now, and I can't wait to be further along and feel more assured. Will I ever feel totally assured though? The reality is, No. I won't. So in the meantime, I'm happy to be 15w3d. 

Anyway, Elijah is up from his nap now and I have cookies to make, so the other things I was going to say will have to wait until another time. :)

P.S. I've come to a decision. I'm going to use this blog as both a blog and a journal. The journal-y posts that I don't want the world to read I'll protect, so if you come across a protected post, don't take it personally.

Also, I've had another blog since December. It was anonymous and dealt mostly with infertility. I'm going to stop blogging there, but I'd like to copy some of those posts here. I'll back-date them, so it'll look like I've been posting since December, but they're from that blog. If you'd like to read them, you're more than welcome to. Like the journal-related posts, I'm going to protect the blog posts from the other blog that I'd rather not post here for all to see.

Falling off the bandwagon

Well, I've pretty much entirely missed out on September, huh? There's less than a week of it left, and this is my SECOND post, which harks back to the early days of my blog when there was nothing to write about but playing the waiting game and going to school (although, we WERE busy at that time, just with day-in and day-out stuff. Nothing worth blogging about.)

We've been up to a lot of things here and there over the last month, but I haven't had time to blog about them, or even take my pictures off the camera. I think I'm only working on this post right now because I just started uploading the photos and it says I have 451. Not only is that going to take a long time, but man, how much there must be to blog about, then, right??!

Soooo...update...

I'm just going to do a September-in-summary, because it's easier that way.

-went to a pioneer festival/craft show on Labour Day. Had lots of fun, discovered I like kettle corn popcorn, learned how to do melted glass (seriously, I always wanted to know! The finished product looks so easy, I'm sure I could do it...so I asked the vendor how he made his stuff, and then trounced off without buying anything. Okay, it wasn't so blatant as that, and we had a really nice conversation, so I don't think he was too put out. Besides, I'm not buying a kiln any time soon, so I don't think he needs to worry about competition.) Some photos of the craft show are below:

My attempt at a cool angle.

If it wasn't for those Heinz cans and the Tim Horton's cup, it'd look pretty vintage!

CUTE little boy dressed in period clothing.

-was a little sad when all the kids started school, but the sadness is going away. I registered for my last university class EVER (well, the last one I need to finish my degree anyway) and I start in January. SO excited to think that I might someday have letters behind my name, even if it's only BA (pass.)

-Matthew has a new calling now. He's been released as the stake Young Men secretary (so no registration next year...yay!) and has been called as the stake executive secretary (maybe the intensity of the last week of registration...times 5...for every week, and not just for one week. AH!) It will be a lot of work, but he's really looking forward to it. Our stake president is a great man, and it'll be wonderful working with him. And, did you know that he (the stake president) puts 25 hours of his week aside for meetings just for his calling? And then has a full-time job on top of that? And a family? That includes teenagers? Let me just say, WOW. How does he do it?

-I've had a slight calling change as well. Well, not calling change, but assignment change. I'm the 2nd counselor in primary, but now I won't have a month of sharing times every few months anymore, but instead I'll be doing music time every week. I'm really excited about doing it when I'm PREPARED. See, I've filled in many times for music time, but only when someone didn't make it, so I had to wing it. It'll be fun actually doing stuff for it, and teaching the kids all sorts of songs.

-speaking of primary, we had our pioneer activity the other week at Janine's place, and it was great! We had an awesome turn-out (only 4 kids missing) and the kids had a lot of fun. Here are some of my favourite pictures of the day:

A pioneer game we did with the kids (tug-of-war)

SO camera-trained already, I love it!

Okay, so when I asked Ryan (on the right) if Charlie (the horse) was his friend, he promptly put one arm on his hip and began talking all big-man style about how cool Charlie is and how they're besties. Matt is here trying to imitate Ryan and can't keep from laughing.

-Elijah is doing really well. He probably deserves a few bullet points, so I'll make the first one about the fair. We went to the county fair in my hometown the weekend after labour day, and I entered Elijah into the baby contest. My sister entered Ayden as well, but in a different age category. For each category there were four 1st-place prizes, being most content baby, happiest baby (seriously, what's the difference?) baby with the biggest and brightest eyes, and best matched parent and baby. And Elijah won first in one of the categories!! Can you guess which one? Yep, that's right, the biggest and brightest eyes. I take it as a compliment to myself, as it's pretty much the only feature of mine he inherited, but I really can't take credit for how they light up and twinkle when he's happy. He does that all on his own. So without further ado, here are some photos of my biggest and brightest-eyed baby!

GAH does he get any cuter?! And check out those big and brights.

Ayden won in his category for biggest and brightest eyes as well, and I'm glad they were in different age categories, because I'd hate to pit them up against eachother. Because obviously Elijah would win. Just kidding! It'd be tough though. I think Eli's eyes are brighter, but Ayden's just might be bigger.

And Preston, in good spirits while riding a horse.

-Elijah has also been VERY mobile lately. He rolls to get anywhere he wants, and started army-crawling a week or two ago. It's so cute! He also LOVES the piano, and yesterday when he thought I wasn't looking, he army-crawled across the floor to the base of it, and just stared upwards longingly until I lifted him up and sat down with him. He promptly began pounding the keys with a look of absolute glee on his face.

It's fun because now when he's grouchy there are a few things we can do to entertain him. The piano is one thing, going for a walk is another, there's the exersaucer, jolly jumper, sitting him in his highchair with the spatula, turning on the Backyardigans (although that one he is losing interest in) or even turning on the ceiling fan in one of the bedrooms. I'm finally starting to feel like I'm figuring him out.

-Elijah will be 8 months old in a few days, and I have no clue how big he is. At 7 months he was 18lb 7oz, and still 28.5" long, so I'm guessing 19 lb's and 29"??? I know he'll eventually sit, stand, walk, run, etc on his own, but it feels like it'll never happen. He still isn't pulling himself into a sitting position, although he can hold himself up when I sit him like that. Maybe it's because he's not crawling the normal way? Which I don't think he'll EVER do, because he has yet to push himself onto his knees. That whole rocking business? Forget it. Oh well. I know he's fine, I just like seeing him accomplish new things.

Oh, but here's something that IS actually concerning me. Lately he has about zero interest in baby food. He was doing really well for a while, eating 6 heaping spoonfuls of baby food in one sitting, and now I'm lucky to get down 1. I don't know what's happened, he's just lost interest. Again, I know they're just general milestones, but by 9 months I should be able to feed him textures, or pass him a piece of toast to chew on, etc, but he gags any time food sits on his tongue, and chokes once it dares to be swallowed. I don't know what to do about it, as he isn't really interested in anything but our food, like a piece of cucumber to chew on. But then, I worry that if I do that, he's going to break a piece off and choke on it. AH. He'll take fruit the best, but he's even been turning his nose up to that pretty quickly lately.

Anyone know what's going on? Can teething cause him to not want to eat? He's nursing just fine, but I really wanted to wean him by January, and he won't take a bottle and now won't even take baby food. What happened to the indepence of once they hit 6 months, and you can actually go and DO things because they can eat solids? As with every time-related milestone or goal in my life, I'm feeling pretty naive and duped. Do I stick with it though, and wait to see the doctor until his 9-month check-up in November? Or do I need to address this sooner? I feel so confused.

-we've only shown our house twice now. I'm bummed to say the least, but it IS hopeful that one wanted to buy it. They just had a maximum (supposedly from the bank) that was lower than what we thought acceptable considering the renovations we just did. But still! When will you sell, house, WHEN?! Because I'd really like to stop stressing about keeping you so clean. Tidy, a little clean, FINE, but spotless? GAH. It's never spotless, so I'm always stressing. ?Have I mentioned I don't like selling houses? Joy in the journey...joy in the journey...joy in the journey...

I can't think of much else to post on at this point, so I'm going to wrap this up now and get Elijah up from his nap.

EDIT - I'm actually finishing this the day after I wrote it, as the pictures weren't ready yet, but new thing - Eli got hives again this evening, after having a few licks of a sugar-based syrup that had been in contact with milk. Starting to wonder more and more about that allergy. This time, though, he hadn't been covered in the syrup (thank goodness! That'd make for a sticky baby) like he had been with the formula. Matt says I should take the formula and draw an "H" on his cheek and see if it gets all hive-y. I'm considering it...ha.

Showing

We showed our house for the first time today!!! I know it's ridiculous, but I keep hoping and hoping that they were so hugely impressed with it that we'll get an offer tomorrow. Or the next day. See? I told you it was ridiculous.

Oh, and yes, I left freshly baked cookies out for them. ;)

I can't tell you how relieved I feel, though, knowing that we've shown it at least once in the last 2 weeks. I was starting to worry.

And by the way, it is such a violating feeling, driving away from your house with your baby and dog in tow, knowing that in a short period of time complete strangers will be arriving at your house, letting themselves in, and wandering around, analyzing what they see, and just being alone. In your house. Weird!!! I wasn't ready for that violated feeling. I also was not ready to be excited when we got home and there were closet doors open, lights turned out that were on before, and less cookies on the plate than when we left. There was even a message saying, "Thanks for the cookies, they were very yummy!" It felt like Christmas, and like Santa had left that message.

Anyway, I just wanted to write about it. Because we're moving. Selling our house. Showing it to strangers. Hopefully soon bargaining and accepting an offer. And then packing packing packing.

Oh my heck, it's really happening, isn't it?

Hives!

Eli got hives today! It was a sad affair. Well, not really, that's being dramatic. Here's what happened.

First of all, I'm sick. Yes, that's important to know! Because Elijah has been a little grouchy today, but probably mostly bored, and I just do not have the energy to be sing-song all the time. So he was getting fussy, and it occurred to me to try giving him some formula. Then, all at once, formula seemed like this wonderful, beautiful thing, and while I made up a bottle I had these rosy ideas of weaning him off of nursing, switching over to formula within a week, and then taking a course or two for photography this semester after all. Or maybe going to see a movie. Or go to the temple! Ahhh beautiful ideas.

He took the bottle pretty well, chewing rather than sucking the nipple, but i figured, "Hey, you've got all week to figure this out. No big deal." (the tired side of me speaking, as if I could realistically take courses this fall! Ha.) Chewing the nipple caused 1/2 of what he got out to smear all over his face and neck, and then after an ounce, he was done. As in, he screeched his disapproval, turned his head away, and grabbed a toy instead.

After a teeny bit more fussing, I popped him his soother and while doing so noticed his face was red around his mouth. At first I thought that maybe all the moisture on his face had irritated the skin, but then I noticed a little bump, and then another, and another, and I knew it was hives.

Commence undressing him and scanning his entire body for other signals of an allergic reaction, but none are really to be found.

Matthew came home in the middle of all of this, and Eli instantly cheered up (always his way when Matt's around) so I'm positive it wasn't causing him any discomfort. The hives really just appeared wherever the formula had touched his skin, including a line where it had dribbled down his neck.

I didn't think until they were almost all faded to try to get a photo (as proof, or reference, you know?) but here's what we got:

You can kindof see the line here, just before his ear, going back to just where his hair begins to level out after dipping down.

Same as above, but you can see more redness in this one. And yes, this is an upside-down photo...it was the only way to get Elijah to stay still enough for the camera to focus! And even then it did a bad job focusing.

And this is what Elijah thinks of the whole business. He's saying, "really, mummy, I couldn't care less now that daddy is home!" You can see that they're mostly gone from his face now, although there is the least bit of redness on his chin and one cheek.

 So of course the only thing to do was to google "formula hives on face" and see what the results came up with. And of course the results weren't pretty, because that's what the internet does; it tells you the worst case scenario, and some little bits in between. 

I've become pretty good at not taking the results I find too seriously, especially after googling spina bifida occulta and worrying about Eli having incontinence issues for his whole life, only to find out that his form is too mild to worry about such things. Why borrow trouble, right?

And just to make you laugh, here is a video detailing exactly what it was like to be me when I was pregnant and had any concern that I tried to google (sorry, I can't embed this one so it appears on my blog directly.)

Anyway, I just talked to someone and I think Merry is going to have a home! YAYness! And it's with someone I know, or someone known by someone I know, so I'm pleased. AND they take good care of their pets. I can't tell you how relieved I am (as Merry howls in the background because she's in heat...again. And yes, she only spent 9 days out of heat in between heat cycles this time...sometimes I wish I could be that fertile! HA)

I should wrap this up now so Matthew and I can watch our movie. It's my night to pick (because I'm sad and sick) so I picked Mamma Mia. Hurray!

Merry, moving, zoo, bath, and piano

First, because it's frustrating me, let me say that I can't wait until Merry is gone! Is that terrible? I love my cat, I really do. She is sweet and generally good with a dash of naughtiness, and I will miss her when she's gone. But right now, I'm going nuts trying to find a good home for her. I do NOT want to bring her to the humane society, I want to find a home myself and KNOW she is being well taken care of, but seriously, ARG.

For one thing, why do people on Kijiji not read the ad fully? I've had more than one response for Merry where they change their minds after they clue in the she's not fixed. It's right there in the ad. And unrelated to Merry, but annoying nonetheless, is when I detail the scratches on a piece of furniture, and even show pictures, and then I get an email after someone's decided to get it saying, "Will you take less for it, seeing as I didn't notice there were scratches on it?" It's happened more than once.

Anyway, I'm frustrated because all I want is to find a nice home for my cat, I've had two people say they definitely want her, and then they stop responding to my emails. That hurts. Especially when I feel like I'm saying goodbye to her and then she's still here and I'm left still worrying about what's going to become of her.

And please don't question the fact that we need to give her away. We do, end of story. And no, it's not because she's bad. Because she's actually quite good. And loving. And sweet. (even if she does like to eat my flowers and put freezie wrappers in Pippin's water dish.)

"Who, me? No, you're talking about some other cat."

"Oh wait, yeah, I do that."

Anyway, enough ranting.

We helped Aaron and Rachelle move Friday and I find myself rather jealous, because Rachelle is done. She's packed, cleaned, moved, unpacked (a lot, anyway) and settled in, albeit 1.5 hours from here. All I can say is, lucky (in a Dash-from-Incredibles voice.)

Have I mentioned that selling a house sucks? Because I'm burnt out, we've had no showings yet, and I have about zero motivation to keep things clean, because it feels like it will never sell. Also, now that our house has maintained one level of superior cleanliness for so long, I feel completely out of sorts when the littlest things are out of place, which may not seem like a bad thing, but really, how can you always keep your house clean? Every last inch of it? You can't, so I'm always stressed and feeling blah about the general cleanliness of the house.

I just want to move. I want it done, over with, finished. But I can't even pack! I have to wait to do that, because it'd make our house look cluttered.

Sorry! More ranting. It's hard. Not the ranting, the moving.

Saturday we went to the zoo with Dave, Farrah, Lindsay, Duncan, and the kids. It was a lot of fun! I got a little sunburned on my arms (gotta maintain the farmer's tan!) but oh well. We brought Elijah out onto the splash pad and he had a ball! He's never enjoyed water so much, he was just splashing and kicking and laughing. Then tonight when he had a bath he was having lots of fun too, so I think he's just liking water more now. Here are some photos:

Classic photo op, but I can't get enough of the looks on Duncan's and Dave's faces!

This girl is so camera-trained! Every time I wanted to capture a candid shot of her she'd turn, bat her eyes, tilt her head just so and smile her best pageant smile ever. So very cute.

The, "Who called me?" smile.

Absolutely loving the water!

That right there is pure joy.

P just loves the babies! She wanted to play so much.

The candid right before the camera-smile.

Sweet baby D, chowing down on some healthy snacks.

He's figured out how to dunk the washcloth to soak it again, and spends most of his time in the bath sucking on his cloth!

Or dousing his face with water from the cup.

Ohhhh the wet eyelashes!

So I think I go in spurts with my picture-taking. I bring the camera lots of places, but often feel like I don't have the energy to take photos, or that I just don't feel like it, because when I'm taking photos it's ALL I'm doing, and I miss a lot of what is going on around me because I'm "seeing life through a lens" as I've heard other people say. Some moments are just so cute, though, that I think, "Quick! The camera!" and the bathtime and following piano photos were two of those times.

I love this look. I get it so often when Elijah is enjoying himself with Matt. He just looks over as if to say, "Oh mom, this is so much fun, you've GOT to try it!"

Curiously watching Matt's hands move across the piano.

Trying to play a little himself.

Start 'em early, right?

Okay, seriously, have you ever wondered how Mozart interacted with a piano at an early age? Was he even more curious and interested than Elijah? It's so cute to see Eli move his hands across the piano now and hit the keys, knowing that they'll make a sound. Cause and effect, right? I love it.

Anyway, I'm sorry I didn't photoshop any photos. I want to, I just don't have time, and if I wait to have perfect photos, then I won't be posting any time soon because I'm not going to have much free time until we move and unpack a little. Which hopefully will be before Christmas, but at this rate, I'm not so sure. **SIGH** It'll all work out. Right?

Results

First of all, I'm so sorry if this seems disjointed...I'm trying to type it while Matthew watches Star Wars, and I'm feeling rather distracted.

So today we had the follow-up appointment for Elijah's MRI. I was pretty confident going in that everything was fine, but I was looking forward to having some sort of definite confirmation anyway.

The resident doctor came in and confirmed what I had been told by Eli's pediatrician, that there is no dermal sinus tract. We're very relieved by that, because it means that he won't have to have a surgery to remove the connection (because it doesn't exist...) The dimple itself does not run very deep, but it IS on the skin right where the defect is.

So, the defect. Technically, and by the books, Elijah DOES have spina bifida occulta. Spina bifida is defined as when there is incomplete closure of the "embryonic neural tube" (aka the spine.) It's when the vertebrae (bones) are not fully formed or fused and remain open. In many instances this causes the spinal cord to protrude through the opening in the bones. Scary stuff right?

So "occulta" in this case means the the spinal cord is not protruding at all. In Elijah's case, the defects are so shallow that the spinal cord is fully encased, and there is nowhere for the spinal cord (or neural roots at that point) to protrude from.

If you run your hand down your back to feel your spine, you'll notice that you can feel each individual vertebrae because they come to a rounded point. For Elijah, this is the part that is incomplete. The "point", as I call it, isn't there for the 3 affected vertebrae. Other than that, the bone is normal and there is plenty of bone around the spinal cord, so he won't experience any spinal weakness as time goes on.

All of this is rather hard to explain in blog-form, AND I'm distracted, so please please forgive me!

The long and short of it is, he couldn't have a milder form of spina bifida. His reflexes are fine, his nerves are in tact, he feeds regularly, goes to the bathroom on his own, and moves his legs like crazy. In short, he's a perfectly normal little baby, with something a little extra special about him. We're not worried in the least about his future, as there is absolutely nothing to indicate that he will experience any side-effects of the defects. We are so very very relieved.

So we were discharged from the specialist clinic today. As we were leaving, the doctor said, "you shouldn't be here! You should be at the Well-Baby Clinic!" and I couldn't agree more. I've been walking around today calling Elijah, "My Little Well-Baby" and I'm pretty sure it's a name that's going to stick.

In other news, I received a hilarious spam email today. It was cleverly done, somehow appearing to be from one of my contacts on my safe list, but the message was so funny and obviously written by an Asian with limited knowledge of English. Here's all that the email contained:

Hi !
 

Long time no see ! Here is a good piece of news for you .I find a
unique original website,="(junk link)"?/.There are all sorts of
famous-brand,quality products in the shop,such as Gucci Handbag,Wallet,Polo
Clothes,Adidas,Nike shoes,Tiffany,Jewellery,Cosmetics,MAC,and so on
.Otherise,they can make wedding dress to measure if you need. The method of
payment is very simple and safe ,and they accept Paypal.So I want a pair
shoes next week,and I think you will be crazy when you got there. Good luck
to you !!
 

Yours

Anyway,  I've got to go to bed, as we have a busy day ahead of us tomorrow.

Renovations

Usually when people ask what I've been up to lately I have NO IDEA what to tell them. I keep busy doing this and that, but I can never remember what it is exactly that I've done.

Not so for the last month of my life though. It has been a long time since I have used my free time to do things for myself (perhaps explaining the lack of posting...) Most of my Elijah-free time, and a good portion of non-Elijah-free time has been used to organize, paint, clean, and prepare our house for listing.

We listed on Tuesday (yesterday) and when we got home at 9:30pm there was a "For Sale" sign on our front lawn. It's such a strange sight! I have such mixed emotions when I see that sign. It is such a momentous thing for us, and in a big way it reminds me of when we bought the house, except the "For Sale" sign was exciting because we were moving in, and now we're moving out. I remember after we bought the house that it took a week for the "Sold" sticker to go up and I was so indignant! I wanted the whole world to know that we had bought a house. Now I have expect to see the Sold sticker on it again whenever we turn the corner to pull in the driveway, even though I know that I'd know if a sticker was going to be there.

Apart from feeling a bit like when we bought our house, though, I feel a mixture of excitement, anxiety, embarassment (because our neighbours didn't know we were planning on moving yet) sadness and happiness all at once. We've met a milestone (in managing to get our house into list-shape) and we're closing a chapter of our lives by moving, but we're also starting a new chapter, and I love the idea of possibilities. Part of me loves uncertainty because it can hold so many good things, but another part of me (and Matt would say a bigger part of me) hates uncertainty and gets stressed by it. Day to day I choose to ignore the stress because I'm happier not dwelling on it. I downplay things so that I can cope. It works pretty well, too.

So, all that being said, here are some before and after photos of our renovations. I have to take some better "afters" of the bathroom, as it was the biggest job, and all I have is the list photo.

Mulching the back gardens

Taking a picture of the garbage pile. This scene was repeated another 3 times before all the junk was gone!

What Pippin thinks of all the renovations.

My attempt at a self-photo when we had the zoom lens on.

A cluttered living room with gross pink carpets, closet doors for out bedroom, and laminate lying on the floor in packages.

Matthew puttying the hallway, and Pippin observing the work. Notice all the stains on the carpet?

More stains. And oh my goodness, Pippin has a way of being in every single photo, and yet he never poses.

Progress shot. Carpet is still down in the dining room, underlay is the dark stuff and wood is the light stuff.

Artsy progress shot? I don't know!

The finished product!

I like this so much more! No more clutter, furniture, nice floors, warm lamps, so nice!

Only one chair made it back upstairs, as the other one doesn't have the ends to the legs, so we can't stick those foam things on it to keep it from scratching the floor.

Matthew posing for a pic in the newly painted front hallway

Our bedroom before painting. The dark strip on the wall at the top was where the border used to be.

Another bedroom before. No more closet doors (well, really, mine has been gone for 3 years...we've been functioning that long without one of our doors and it has felt so messy in our room!)

Progress shot! I was really worried the colour was too yellow-y, especially compared to that dark blue-grey colour.

After shot! The colour turned out and really brightened up the room. This isn't the true after, as I actually hemmed the curtains too. I'm so proud!

See those closet doors? I installed them ALL BY MYSELF. And it was the biggest pain in the butt ever. EVER. Like, more annoying than mosquitoes, especially because it was noisy, and I did it while Eli slept.

The renovated downstairs bathroom. I don't have a before photo of this, and I wish I did, but just to remind you, there was a green toilet, a green-white vanity with a faux marble green and white counter-top, hectic granny striped wallpaper, and linoleum to match. Oh, and this mirror ended up in the upstairs bathroom, and we have a medicine cabinet in there now instead.

Not so different than before, it's just empty and painted beige rather than yellow.

More beige rather than yellow.

Broken wooden toilet seat, stained linoleum, beige toilet.

Old mirror(s) which cut you off at your stomach. I could never get a good idea of my outfit in these mirrors. Also, note the cabinet (we painted it white later)

Check out what we were dealing with. The gross dirty spot was the lovely present for us that we discovered underneath the layers of peeling bathtub paint (apparently it was a crappy paint job, because the pros would never let it peel)

Old faucet, cracked tiles, a faucet that dripped, all kinds of mildew and mold. Yummy!

Wallpaper, border, sponged paint, a broken towel rail that was installed upside down to begin with...OH and don't forget the trim that was painted the same colour as the paint. True of pretty much every room in the ENTIRE HOUSE. I could punch the last people who lived here for that, as I've had to go through and not only paint every room, but I've had to paint trim white as well. Thanks a lot, previous owners. Oh, and your welcome, future owners.

A progress shot with Tony.

The only finished shot I have right now, but look! White toilet, sink, tub, vanity, new tiles, fresh paint, a beautiful cabinet, a new mirrow, ceramic floor tiles, a new light fixture...isn't it beautiful???

And there you have it, folks! Now you know what has been consuming all of my time lately. And now you know why I'm thanking my lucky stars that Elijah waited until last week to start rolling like a madman. There's no way I'd have been able to any of this if he was as mobile a month ago as he is now.

And speaking of mobile, this evening he started pushing himself up on his hands so high that the only part of him touching the floor was his knees. I think we're not more than a month from crawling! Craziness.

Anyway, I didn't mean to make this super long, so I'm going to finish and go to bed as I am exhausted!